Türa Guacamole

Guacamole. Need one say more? This wonderful dip is the only thing you need to make any gathering successful. Football games, Dance parties, Normal parties, Burgers, Nachos, Burritos, Basketball games, Farkel, Cards, anything really. It is the rare person who does not love the perfect balance of flavor and sophistication that come with serving this dish at any function. Martha Stewart, Eva Longoria and Beyonce even have their own recipes. I promise you though, ours will put them to shame. Big shame.

Ingredients:

Avocados. As if i needed to tell you that. As many as possible.
Sour cream. About one big spoon per avocado
An onion
Garlic. To taste. I use a lot
Juice of a lime. Or as much as you want. To taste
A dash or two of cumin
Salt to taste
Some paprika. Just a bit will do, just to add a small bite to it
Coriander (may be omitted if you hate it)
A small tomato (optional)


Method:

Throw everything but onion, coriander and tomato in a blender/food processor and blend until smooth.
Dice tomato, coriander and onion as small as possible and add to the mix.
Either put in a small bowl to dip out of or on top of whatever you are eating and indulge yourself to the most heavenly mix of taste possible.
Smugly remind yourself that your guest now think of you as a god. They'll be asking you for the recipe and you can just tell them, "oh, just a little of this and that... you know..."


By the way, this is perfect for topping the Türa Burgers and Türa Omelette.

Go Football season!!! WOOOOO!

Türa Farkeling

For those not in the know, Farkel is one of the best ways to relax and pass the summer days.
It is possible to play outdoors and indoors. It's even possible to farkel while seven sheets to the wind and lying in a hammock. The best place to farkel of course is in a birja. The best drink to farkel with is beer, and you can also have polish vodka or sangria for an even more interesting farkeling experience.

Materials:

6 dice
A throwing board
Alcoholic beverages unless you're pregnant
A birja
Official Farkel rules *

Method:

Sit down with a few drinks and dudes and have yerself a hollering good time. Be prepared to have just more fun then you're supposed to have.

Best enjoyed after Türa Burgers.


* There are some extra fun house rules we use that you can get from us. Also, an extra fun and boisterous adaption of the game called "Twatter".

Türa Potato Salad

This one here is a real classic. The perfect fit for BBQ-ing and picnics all summer (and fall or spring for that matter) long.
Best way to do this one is to prepare it the day before so you got more time for boozing the day of your function. Plus, it tastes better when it's been sittin' overnight.

Ingredients for the salad:

A couple kilos of potatoes or so, depending on how many people
Some celery if you can find it
A carrot or two
Can of green olives
Hard boiled eggs. To the rate of 2 per kilo of taters
A bunch of fresh dill
Maybe a bell pepper if you feel like it
An onion. Two if they're small

Ingredients for the sauce:

Mayo. At least one packet
A bit of vinegar. Wine or apple cider being best
Bit of cumin
Mustard. Either dry or wet (a few good shakes if dry, a spoon or two if wet)
Salt and pepper to taste
Paprika of some sort for a little extra kick and color

Method:

Either peel and boil or boil and peel the potatoes. Not too soft otherwise your salad will just be cold mashed taters. Set aside to cool.
Boil the crap out of the eggs. You don't wanna have a runny yoke dripping around the bowl. Set aside to cool and then peel.
Grate the carrot(s). Dice the onion(s). Halve or quarter the olives. Chop the celery (and the pepper if you're using one) and the dill. Throw everything in a large bowl.
When yer spuds are cold, chop them into 1/2 inch (1cm) or so large cubes. Perfection is not necessary.
Same with the eggs but smaller. Throw them in the bowl as well.
Whip up the dressing.
Mix the dressing into the salad well.
Wait as long as humanly possible (not more than 24 hours) and eat as much as you can without puking.
You may need a light digestif (such as chacha) afterwards to aid in digestion.
Revel in glory.

Türa Burgers

The best thing to have left over for day after America day? A kilo of ground beef. Wanna know what's even better? The majority of guests leaving before you can turn it into burgers. Combine this with the superior produce we get here at the Türa in the summer, and you have a recipe for great success!

Prep ingredients:


Beer (2.5 liter bottles are best. konig seems to be the preferred flavor here this summer)

Cigarettes (Gauloises blue or yellow)(Optional)

Leftover sangria? Start in on it!

Ingredients for the burgers:

1 kilo ground meat. (beef is tastiest)
Red wine
Some herbs (rosemary or whatever)
A small diced onion
Some diced garlic if you feel like it

Garnishes and other good ideas:

Bread or buns. Anything that can handle the amount of taste you are about to encounter
Bacon. duh.
Cheese. Whatever you prefer. Or anything you have on hand.
Tomatoes
Pickles
Onions
Sauce (We like the holy trinity best-mayo, mustard and catsup)
Lettuce
Fried eggs can be fun
More beers. Nothing too wildly filling though. A white beer or IPA might be the thing for it.
A grill or stove top

Method:

Pour youself a sipping beer. You're gonna need it for as long as this is gonna take.
Take the meat and put it in a bowl. Mix with herbs, about 50ml of red wine and onion.
Let sit an hour or so. Have a beer.

If using a frying pan to cook the burgers, cook the bacon.
Form burgers into patties. Keep in mind that they'll shrink during cooking so i usually make them a bit thin and wide for optimal cooking time and placement on bread/buns
Get the bacon done and keep the grease.
Add small amounts of said bacon grease to the pan and cook the burgers. keep your eye on them so they don't burn. If you are so inclined, have a beer and a smoke while fulfilling this step.
Put cheese on near the end of the cooking so it gets a chance to melt.

If cooking on a grill, omit steps above and just cook the bacon and burgers side by side. have as many beers as you can fit in while watching the burgers. Have a couple smokes too if you find this acceptable. Put the cheese on at the end so it can melt.

Serve. Have a "build the best burger" contest. Get a beer. Eat.
Roll on the ground in overstuffed agony.
Drink more. It's your duty.