Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Türa omelette

This is the way to make the cement that holds our breakfasts together. Tasty, easy and relatively fast to prepare no matter how little sleep you got or how hungover you are. Enjoy.


1/2 pack of cigarettes (may be omitted if too hungover)
3-4 normal sized potatoes
1 or so onions
1 or so tomatoes
6-10 eggs
Any other vegetables you may have. Anything from eggplant to okra. (may be omitted if not on hand)
Spices. This is really up to you. Either super spicy or nice and mild.
Oil. Sunflower or corn is best. Olive works but it's a bit rich for our tastes.


Make coffee. drink a cup and check internet. smoke if not too nicotine ill from the night before.
Chop potatoes and onions nice and thin. put them in a bowl and shake with some oil until they are well covered with said oil.
Put a bit more oil in a frying pan and heat it for a bit. sometimes i put coriander and cumin seeds in at this point for fun.
Fry potatoes and onions until browning. you may smoke while this is going on. just be sure to stir often enough so they are evenly cooked.
Add tomatoes and other vegetables in accordance with how long they take to cook. drink coffee.
Continue frying until there is little liquid left in the pan.
Break eggs into the bowl you mixed the oil into the potatoes with. whisk. add the fried potato mix. mix well.
Put a bit more oil into the frying pan. lower the heat a bit and pour the whole damn thing in and mix well for about 30 seconds. as you are doing so, shake the pan a bit so the bottom don't stick.
Continue shaking it every minute or so until the bottom seems nice and solid. have another cigarette if you will. when it seems like the time's right, try and flip the bastard onto a plate so you can cook the top side. if you can't don't worry about it, just make sure you cover the top and continue cooking on a lowish heat until the top seems more or less firm.
When it seems ready, turn off the heat and put the thing to side for a minute while you set the table and get salads and sauces ready and maybe have some more coffee and cigarettes.
Get compliments.
Get someone else to do the dishes.
Start thinking about lunch.
Do push ups.
Try and think of something worthwhile to do with the rest of your day...

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