Türa Guacamole

Guacamole. Need one say more? This wonderful dip is the only thing you need to make any gathering successful. Football games, Dance parties, Normal parties, Burgers, Nachos, Burritos, Basketball games, Farkel, Cards, anything really. It is the rare person who does not love the perfect balance of flavor and sophistication that come with serving this dish at any function. Martha Stewart, Eva Longoria and Beyonce even have their own recipes. I promise you though, ours will put them to shame. Big shame.

Ingredients:

Avocados. As if i needed to tell you that. As many as possible.
Sour cream. About one big spoon per avocado
An onion
Garlic. To taste. I use a lot
Juice of a lime. Or as much as you want. To taste
A dash or two of cumin
Salt to taste
Some paprika. Just a bit will do, just to add a small bite to it
Coriander (may be omitted if you hate it)
A small tomato (optional)


Method:

Throw everything but onion, coriander and tomato in a blender/food processor and blend until smooth.
Dice tomato, coriander and onion as small as possible and add to the mix.
Either put in a small bowl to dip out of or on top of whatever you are eating and indulge yourself to the most heavenly mix of taste possible.
Smugly remind yourself that your guest now think of you as a god. They'll be asking you for the recipe and you can just tell them, "oh, just a little of this and that... you know..."


By the way, this is perfect for topping the Türa Burgers and Türa Omelette.

Go Football season!!! WOOOOO!

Türa Farkeling

For those not in the know, Farkel is one of the best ways to relax and pass the summer days.
It is possible to play outdoors and indoors. It's even possible to farkel while seven sheets to the wind and lying in a hammock. The best place to farkel of course is in a birja. The best drink to farkel with is beer, and you can also have polish vodka or sangria for an even more interesting farkeling experience.

Materials:

6 dice
A throwing board
Alcoholic beverages unless you're pregnant
A birja
Official Farkel rules *

Method:

Sit down with a few drinks and dudes and have yerself a hollering good time. Be prepared to have just more fun then you're supposed to have.

Best enjoyed after Türa Burgers.


* There are some extra fun house rules we use that you can get from us. Also, an extra fun and boisterous adaption of the game called "Twatter".

Türa Tree Whacking

Tree whacking is a ancient and time honored traditional game, dating back to the earliest recorded attempts to get kids out of the house and engage their damn lazy asses in helping out around the place.

The best times for tree whacking are of course in the early fall, when the trees, especially the walnut tree, have tasty little morsels covering them in preparation for the miserable winter months to come.

What you need:

A long pole
A drink
Smokes (optional)
Children or other naive helpers that work for free

Method:

Grab a drink with your dudes.
Pick up your pole and find a tree with nice things hanging in it.
Start whacking the bejeezus outta the damn tree just to show it who's boss.
When thoroughly whacked, find yourself a chair and imbibe on whatever you please as your slaves children or naive helpers pluck up the fruits of your labor from the ground.
Make them shuck the dainty tree delicacies and store them in preparation for the nastiness to come.
Pat yourself on the back for a job well done. You deserve it.