Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Türa Tree Whacking

Tree whacking is a ancient and time honored traditional game, dating back to the earliest recorded attempts to get kids out of the house and engage their damn lazy asses in helping out around the place.

The best times for tree whacking are of course in the early fall, when the trees, especially the walnut tree, have tasty little morsels covering them in preparation for the miserable winter months to come.

What you need:

A long pole
A drink
Smokes (optional)
Children or other naive helpers that work for free


Grab a drink with your dudes.
Pick up your pole and find a tree with nice things hanging in it.
Start whacking the bejeezus outta the damn tree just to show it who's boss.
When thoroughly whacked, find yourself a chair and imbibe on whatever you please as your slaves children or naive helpers pluck up the fruits of your labor from the ground.
Make them shuck the dainty tree delicacies and store them in preparation for the nastiness to come.
Pat yourself on the back for a job well done. You deserve it.

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